Five You Can't Miss -- AJ Hayes

 I went down to the night side this year (Like Bonnie Raitt says in that song: Down where it's tangled and dark. Way on into it, baby. Down where your fears are parked.) 'cause that's where Noir belongs. Horror too. Threw in a prediction also. And a donut.

(okay, I lied about the donut)

The Wait by Chris Benton at A Twist of Noir.

Brutal poetry of the human soul in agony. Nobody writes that dark music better than Chris Benton. http://a-twist-of-noir.blogspot.com/

Santa's Crack by Richard Godwin at the Yellow Mama Christmas edition.

Another savage tale of a different kind of Santa Claus by a master of horror.

http://blackpetalsks.tripod.com/yellowmama/id904.html

Smiling Cyrus by Lily Childs at Thrillers Chillers and Killers

Lady Death at full steam. You'll never again hear silver bells tinkling without a chill running up your spine.

http://thrillskillsnchills.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2012-10-30T21:02:00Z&max-results=10

(Another pair of the 'zines top line editors who let loose in the same issue of TK'nC with scary good stories of their own are: David Barber in, Dare To Dream and Col Bury with his, Writing On The Wall in the same issue.)

Return Of The Tingler by Paul D. Brazil at Shotgun Honey

PDB takes a walk down the cinema memories highway and proves, in his own unique style, that the pencil is a mighty weapon indeed when used in conjunction with the legendary electro-ass shock of B movie fame.

http://www.shotgunhoney.net/2012/12/return-of-the-tingler-by-paul-d-brazill.html

The Deviation Jones Trilogy by Christopher Grant at All Due Respect.

Outlandish heroine in a fever dream world, Devi Jones will kick you where it hurts, throw you off a roof, steal your car, call your Momma names and still make you forget all about Pam Greer.

http://www.all-due-respect.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2012-04-02T15:25:00-07:00&max-results=1

(Prediction. The next thing in fictionland: Bizarro is launching an attack. And with soldiers like Godwin, Grant, Rhatigan Callaway and dozens of other writing gods joining the Army of WTF, it's liable to make a great big noise in 2013)

BIO:

AJ Hayes makes stuff up and writes it down. Guess that's it.

Five You Can't Miss 2012 -- James Everington

What Water Reveals - Adam Golaski

Adam Golaski was probably the best author I discovered in 2012, and this story is just one of the many highlights from his Worse Than Myself collection. Recommended to all who love intelligently written, evocative horror.

The Room Upstairs - Sarah Pinborough

Another author new to me, and another where I think I must have been missing out. This is from the haunted house anthology House Of Fear, and I loved the way the story dovetails together the reality of the haunting and its metaphorical aspects, so that whether the ghost is 'real' almost doesn't matter. The ending is inevitable (and brilliant) either way.

Love Songs On The Radio - Iain Rowan
This comes from Iain Rowan's 52 Songs, 52 Stories project, which basically involved Iain writing a story based on a song title every week for the entire year. Iain's taste in music is almost as good as his writing, but he also opened up the blog to requests, and this song was mine. It's by Mojave 3, it's a beauty, and Iain's story really does it justice.

The Long Sheet - William Sansom

I read this in the absolutely vast anthology The Weird; it's a truly odd story about people forced to spend their life wringing dry a vast sheet of linen. The phrase Kafkaesque is chucked around a lot, but this story truly is Kafkaesque (or perhaps Kafka is Sansom-esque). 

Mal De Mer - Robert Dunbar

From the author's Martyrs & Monsters collection, from which I could have picked a number of different stories for inclusion here. This story certainly features some monsters, but exactly how many and who they are, is another question. As is that of whether it features any martyrs, too...

Bio: James Everington reads more short stories than can be healthy. Somewhat predictably, he also writes his own. He rambles on about both those he's read and written on his Scattershot Writing blog.

Five You Can't Miss 2012 -- Naomi Johnson

I didn't read as many short stories in 2012 as in years past, yet I still had some difficulty trimming this must-read list to just five. Stories you really should read, for their originality and their can't-get-it-out-of-you-head quality are:

THE BRIDGE PARTNER, by Peter S. Beagle, appears in print in The Best American Mystery Stories 2012, edited by Otto Penzler and Robert Crais. This is a brilliant tale about a timid woman whose new bridge partner openly wants to kill the mousy creature. But stress can transform some people. And reincarnation is a bitch.

Also in print, in the premiere issue of GRIFT magazine, is Todd Robinson's PEACHES, a moving story about a transvestite babysitter who knows you can’t go home again, but has to, just one last time.


In Patti Abbott's IS THAT YOU?, published online at All Due Respect, a cafe owner tries to help out a homeless teenager. This is a quiet tale, almost gentle, that leaves the reader either screaming or crying.

Available in digital format only is Roger Smith's ISHMAEL TOFFEE. Written in the harrowing, cinematic style that is a hallmark of Smith's prose,  this is the story of a murderous ex-con who wants, with all his being, to be able to ignore the pleas for help coming from a little girl being sexually abused by her father. Getting involved will get him killed. But the person who can turn a blind eye to a desperate child is already dead.

And I came across a paperback anthology from 1977, Clarion SF, edited by Kate Wilhelm, that contains a stunning science fiction gem from bestselling crime fiction writer Robert Crais, WITH CROOKED HANDS, a poignant tale about what one man will endure and sacrifice for beauty. I have no links that will guide the interested reader to this story. Used bookstores and online sites such as Alibris are your best bets for finding this book.

Naomi Johnson is the on-again/off-again blogger at The Drowning Machine. Her most recent published story is HERO, about a boy who sees a kind of nobility in killing. You'll find the story in Shotgun Honey Presents: Both Barrels.

Five You Can't Miss 2012 -- Sandra Seamans

There were so many great short stories this year which makes it hard to pick just five, but here we go and in no particular order:

1.  Domestic Violence by Gwen Mullins.  Pank Magazine is full of some of the best short stories around.  "Domestic Violence" just tears your heart out as you step into the life of a battered girl and see the patterns she's building in her life.

2.  Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Art Taylor.  This is such a subtle story about the preparation of a murderous meal that the ending just knocks you off your feet.

3.  Sharing a Ride on a Rainy Morning by Jim Harrington.  Ah, the things we do for love!  One very scary story.

4.  Aftermath by Jake Hinkson.  So often with crime fiction, readers are only shown the crime itself.  Mr. Hinkson takes you one step beyond and reveals what comes after the crime.

5.  Grease Monkey Bokor by Ryan Sayles.  Scary look at a man off his meds.

At All Due Respect -- Travis Richardson

I first read Travis Richardson's work at Shotgun Honey. I was so impressed that I asked him to write one for All Due Respect. He didn't disappoint with "The Wisdom of Soghomon," a slick, brutal piece about Armenian gangsters and a couple of people at the wrong place at the wrong time, and one man who seems to be getting pretty sick of his career choice.  

Five You Can't Miss from 2012 -- Paul D. Brazill

I haven’t done as much online short story reading this year, as I have done in the past. But there are some sites that always deliver. So, I thought I’d pick from those sites some stories from writers that were new to me in 2012 and made immediate impact. All of these stories are lean and mean and deliver short, sharp, shocks.

Fishing by Dyer Wilk at Shotgun Honey.

Dark, intense.

http://www.shotgunhoney.net/2012/11/fishing-by-dyer-wilk.html

A Redheaded Woman by Chris Leek at The Flash Fiction Offensive

Harboiled, funny.

http://www.outofthegutteronline.com/2012/07/redheaded-woman_12.html

Rundown Dog by Gareth Spark at Near To the Knuckle.

Vivid, brutal.

http://www.close2thebone.co.uk/wp/?p=613

The Banyan Tree by Joe Clifford at Near To The Knuckle

Harsh, nasty.

http://www.close2thebone.co.uk/wp/?p=558

A First Time For Everything by Bill Baber at Shotgun Honey

Cruel, gritty.

http://www.shotgunhoney.net/2012/07/a-first-time-for-everything-by-bill-baber.html

Bio: Spinetingler Award nominee Paul D. Brazill has had bits and bobs of short fiction published in various magazines and anthologies, including The Mammoth Books Of Best British Crime 8 and 10,and he has edited the anthologies True Brit Grit & Off The Record 2– with Luca Veste - and Drunk On The Moon 1 and 2. His ebooks Red Esperanto, Death On A Hot Afternoon, 13 Shots Of Noir, Vin Of Venus (with David Cranmer & Garnett Elliot ) and Snapshots are out now, and his novellas The Gumshoe and Guns Of Brixton will be out pretty damned  soon. His blog is here.

Five You Can't Miss from 2012: Chris Rhatigan

Here are my top stories from 2012. Five from the internet (just by chance...) and two more that appeared in publications I edited.

In the coming weeks, writers and editors will be picking their favorites, too, so be sure to check those out.

"The Day We Shot Jesus on Main Street," by Travis Richardson at Shotgun Honey. For some reason, surreal stories involving the Jesus Christ were big with me this year. This story's got a healthy dose of Southern insanity that shoves down your eating pipe.

"Baby Jebus' Big Score," by Heath Lowrance at Pulp Metal Magazine. Baby Jebus as a gangster. I don't think I need to say anything else.

"Blackbird," by Dakota Taylor at Slit Your Wrists Magazine. This guy's only 19 and he's already writing poignant fiction. This story's basically how I remember...except add more meth.

"A Best Friend is the Hardest Thing to Come by," by Ryan Sayles. This guy's quickly becoming one of my favorite writers and this here is what he does best--funny and nasty as hell.

"Waiting Her Chance," by Patti Abbott. I could make a list of just stories she's published this year. But I didn't do that. Anyway, this one is pure Patti--quiet menace, like a snake in a dark cave or some shit like that. 

And here's two I published....

"7 Seconds," by Erin Cole at All Due Respect. Maybe the most suspenseful story I've read since Bradbury's "The Whole Town's Sleeping."

"Kingdom Come," by Kevin Brown in Pulp Ink 2. Another surreal story involving old-time religion... Don't know why that was striking a chord with me this year, but I assure you that this crazy-ass vision of the apocalypse and it's no-good atheist narrator will win you over.

The Best Bizzaro Fiction of the Decade

The problem with an anthology like this is the name. Anything that claims to be the best of an entire decade sets up ridiculous expectations about how good it will be. It also creates problems for the editor--do you try to represent all sides of the genre? If so, will your anthology have any coherency, or will it seem like a grab bag?

In this case, editor Cameron Pierce has mostly represented what I would call the literary side of bizarro. Stories that stick to traditional narrative techniques based in some kind of "weird" element, such as all the characters being animals. There are a few that fall outside of this category, like Kevin Donihe's hysterical "Traveling Dildo Salesman" and a number of speculative fiction pieces, but this brand of story dominates.

My favorite in this ilk is Ben Loory's "The Octopus." The Octopus, who is living an average middle class man's life, is visited by his nephews from the sea and awkwardly interacts with them, eventually leading him to question his decision to move away from home. It's a simple story told in simple language--and its gorgeous in a Ray Bradbury kind of way.

Blake Butler's "We Witnessed the Advent of a New Apocalypse During an Episode of Friends" is as funny as it is strange. It's perfectly executed, with a standard, boring episode of this soul-sucking show becoming more and more disturbing, until it descends into complete chaos. Really, when you think about it, when else could the apocalypse take place other than during an episode of Friends? I first read this story in Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens, and found it even more satisfying on a second read. 

Garrett Cook's "Mr. Plush, Detective" is a hardboiled PI story featuring a man trapped in the body of a teddy bear. He's not the white knight type, but a lowdown, no-good, stab-you-in-the-back-and-take-your-stash PI. It's good, dirty fun and has inspired me to pick up the novel, Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective.

Anyway, The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade is a fantastic compendium that anyone who enjoys this genre should check out.  

At Slit Your Wrists and Drunk on the Moon 2

Slit Your Wrists Magazine is a cool hangout and has featured some very fine fiction. I'm happy to have my story up there, thanks to editor Laramore Black. It's called "Harlot X and the Chestray" and it's straight bizarro, which is the direction my writing has veered toward as of late.

Drunk on the Moon 2, from Pulp Metal Fiction, is also out now, with this slick cover. For those uninitiated, these are stories about Roman Dalton, Paul D. Brazill's werewolf/detective/drunk creation. This edition has entries from the likes of Richard Godwin, Ben Lelievre, and Chad Eagleton.

My story, "The Birds Are Dead," also found its way in there. 

At All Due Respect... and Yellow Mama

Eric Beetner's got this issue of All Due Respect with "A Job for Two," proving that even small-time robberies can go terribly, terribly wrong. Another fine effort from a top crime writer.

And I have a story in the xmas issue of Yellow Mama, "Small Bites." While you're there, be sure to check out work by AJ Hayes, Richard Godwin, Christopher Grant, and Cindy Rosmus.  

Love Me by Danger Slater

Do you like tales of Cold War espionage? Taut psychological thrillers? Science fiction as a metaphor for U.S. foreign policy? How about cute angst-filled teenage vampire toyboys?

Well, too bad. None of those things are in this book.

So reads the description for Danger Slater's debut novel, Love Me, which sets the tone perfectly. Instead of all that crap, Love Me is an epic, inter-dimensional quest for contentment through the eyes of one viking who (some of the time...) lives in a castle constructed from skulls. 

It's absurd and hilarious. While the book brings up big issues--what is the purpose of life? how does one find happiness? what is identity?--thankfully, it never takes any of those questions particularly seriously, because where the fuck would that get us. Mostly Danger Slater is concerned with entertaining and baffling readers as his viking romps through a surreal world. Highly recommended.

Nightfalls

I'm thrilled to be part of Nightfalls, an anthology from editor Katherine Tomlinson, who edited the dearly departed Dark Valentine Magazine. This one is all about the apocalypse, a great concept for a collection. So many of my favorite authors in here too--Nigel Bird, AJ Hayes, Jimmy Callaway, Patti Abbott. Snatch it up on Amazon straight away.

On another note, Matt Funk has a knockout story at All Due Respect, "His Girl." With so many hold up stories out there, you might wonder how this could be original, but trust me that it is. Funk is always great, but this one of my favorites of his. The struggle for power between these players and an unexpected yet believable twist make for great storytelling. 

All Due Respect Anthology

Submissions are closed for the All Due Respect anthology. Submissions remain open for the zine.

Twenty-seven smoking crime stories for the antho. Patti Abbott, Nigel Bird, Christopher Grant, Alec Cizak, Richard Godwin, and many more. Release date is early 2013. 

Off the Record 2: At the Movies

I have a chat with Luca Veste over here about Off the Record 2, the smashing sequel, appropriately enough, to the first Off the Record. My story in there is titled "Jaws," and it's about a truly psychotic corporate type who goes completely off the rails.

Unfortunately, I busted my Kindle while in the middle of reading this collection. The first several stories I read were quite good, including Steve Weddle's "Windows," a Raymond Carver-ish story that has a quiet desperation about it.

Pubs you should check out

So I want to post a review of the new Needle, but I'm not exactly convinced I will ever receive it here in India, where the postal service is rather unreliable. Anyway, it's a safe bet that you'll be getting your money's worth--CJ Edwards, Court Merrigan, Brad Green, Thomas Pluck, Matt Funk. It's a great lineup for their first double issue.

I also have a story in there, "Creator/Destroyer." It's about a guy who is jealous of the golden boy living across the street. So he murders him and takes over his life. Then things get weird.

I've also found a number of excellent bizarro publications. To be honest, not enough, but some very good ones.

First is Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens. Unfortunately, they folded recently. But you can get all the back issues for cheap on Amazon. This is the best I've seen--Sam Pink, Kevin Donihe, Andersen Prunty, Gina Ranelli. Edited by Bradley Sands. Mostly straight bizarro, a lot of flash, some very good poetry, too.

I've also been enjoying Unicorn Knife Fight, which apparently hasn't been published since 2011 (according to Duotrope). The first story, "Surf Grizzlies," is hilarious.

The Dream People is also quite good. Edited by D. Harlan Wilson.

Phantasmacore seems to straddle the line between bizarro and speculative fiction. "Dying Day" by Michael C. Keith reminds me of a Philip K. Dick story.

I also dig Slit Your Wrists, which publishes a range of dark genres.  "Blackbird" by Dakota Taylor is quite good--and he's only a 19-year-old kid!

Overall, however, it appears that there are not too many venues devoted to surrealist shorts. There is, of course, The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction, which I will probably invest my money in at some point.